第三章

Connie was aware, however, of a growing restlessness. Out of her disconnexion, a restlessness was taking possession of her like madness. It twitched her limbs when she didn't want to twitch them, it jerked her spine when she didn't want to jerk upright but preferred to rest comfortably. It thrilled inside her body, in her womb, somewhere, till she felt she must jump into water and swim to get away from it; a mad restlessness. It made her heart beat violently for no reason. And she was getting thinner.

然而，康妮觉察到不安的情绪一天天在累积。与世隔绝的生活，使得烦乱的感觉近乎疯狂地将她攫住。这种情绪不合时宜地牵动她的四肢，当她想舒适地休息时，又突如其来地拉直她的脊骨。这种情绪在她的体内震颤，在子宫的什么地方，为了将其摆脱，她必须得跃入水中畅泳，一种疯狂的纷乱。这种情绪总让她的心房无端地猛跳。于是，康妮日渐消瘦。

It was just restlessness. She would rush off across the park, abandon Clifford, and lie prone in the bracken. To get away from the house...she must get away from the house and everybody. The work was her one refuge, her sanctuary.

正是因为这种不安。她会抛开克利福德，疾奔着穿过花园，俯卧在蕨草丛中。为的只是摆脱拉格比府，她必须摆脱那座宅邸，摆脱所有的人。树林成为她的那个避难处，她的庇护所。

But it was not really a refuge, a sanctuary, because she had no connexion with it. It was only a place where she could get away from the rest. She never really touched the spirit of the wood itself...if it had any such nonsensical thing.

但树林也并非逃避现实的理想处所，因为她和那里同样没有任何干系。置身此地，只能让康妮体验到暂时的孑然。她从未触及到林木的灵魂……假如当真有如此荒诞的东西。

Vaguely she knew herself that she was going to pieces in some way. Vaguely she knew she was out of connexion: she had lost touch with the substantial and vital world. Only Clifford and his books, which did not exist...which had nothing in them! Void to void. Vaguely she knew. But it was like beating her head against a stone.

她隐隐约约地意识到，自己正走向崩溃的边缘。她模模糊糊地感觉到，自己身处与世隔绝的真空状态，与充满生机的物质世界完全脱离。只有克利福德和他的小说，那些虚构的、空洞无物的东西！除了虚空，还是虚空。她隐约地觉察到事情的真相。但又感觉自己脑袋往石头上撞。

Her father warned her again: "Why don't you get yourself a beau, Connie? Do you all the good in the world.” That winter Michaelis came for a few days. He was a young Irishman who had already made a large fortune by his plays in America. He had been taken up quite enthusiastically for a time by smart society in London, for he wrote smart society plays. Then gradually smart society realized that it had been made ridiculous at the hands of a down-at-heel Dublin street-rat, and revulsion came. Michaelis was the last word in what was caddish and bounderish. He was discovered to be anti-English, and to the class that made this discovery this was worse than the dirtiest crime. He was cut dead, and his corpse thrown into the refuse can.

父亲再次提醒她：“你为什么不给自己找个情人，康妮？这样做对你而言大有好处。”那天冬天，米凯利斯来拉格比小住过几天。这个爱尔兰青年是位剧作家，编写的剧本在美国公演，让他赚得盆满钵满。曾几何时，因为写了几部时兴的社会剧，他一度成为伦敦时髦社交圈的风云人物。可当社交名流们慢慢发觉，自己竟然被这个不入流的都柏林小混混所嘲弄，对他的态度也来了个一百八十度大转弯。米凯利斯也成为下流粗鄙的代名词。有人揭发他有反英情绪，而对于捅出此事的贵族阶层而言，这简直比最恶劣的犯罪还难以宽宥。他遭到伦敦上流社会最无情的唾弃。